"The most visible event here is that the occupants of the house across the street are building another addition to it." That would be big news in the neighborhood, the houses on the street where my parents live don't change much. The house across the street is a small modern style house, originally it was one floor. Thirty years ago the original owners built a second story on part of the house and now the new owners are expanding the second floor to the rest of the house. My mom is greatly offended that the people who live there now don't speak to her. She thinks it is because she once asked them to trim their bushes which were growing into the road. I think they're just not very friendly and keep to themselves.
Dad writes that he received a message from his nephew in Delaware that goldfinches are hanging around their birdfeeder in Dover. When I was home in December one or two goldfinches came to our birdfeeder in New York but dad apparently doesn't remember as he writes that he hasn't seen any this winter. Or maybe he just means he hasn't seen the goldfinches this March which is when they usually come out in larger groups.
My parents keep running into the same couple everywhere they go for lunch. My parents, particularly my dad don't particularly like these friends but they did visit my dad often when he was in rehab after his heart surgery. He feels he has to be somewhat friendly to them but complains every time he sees them. Usually this happens at Panera where my parents go for lunch about once a week. What they really don't like about this particular couple is how cheap they are. My dad's never been a big spender but he does believe when you go out to dinner you each order a certain amount of food unlike these friends who will split a meal and split a beer. I have to agree that is pretty cheap. When I go home for the holidays I am always amazed that we run into the same three or four friends of my parents whenever we go out to eat. I guess over the years they have all developed the same affinity for certain restaurants.
Again this letter ends with my dad saying how he used to visit me in Oakland in late winter and enjoyed seeing the birds at Lake Merritt. He was on his way here when he was sent to the hospital three years ago to have his heart cut open. Now that it is spring I anticipate he will find another way to close out his letters.
Love,
Dad
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
March 12
"Still no blackbirds! What's going on?" My dad measures seasons by the rhythms of nature, spring is heralded by the arrival of Red Winged Blackbirds. He's anxious for spring to be here, I hope the blackbirds arrive soon.
Dad reports that he gave away one of the canoes. I can only imagine how sad this occasion is for him. It means he realizes he can't take the canoe out on his own anymore and doesn't know anyone who will go out with him regularly. I remember when we bought the aforementioned canoe, the white canoe as we called it. We were at my mom's sister's house in New Jersey for Easter, it was Easter Sunday and my mom was furious that my dad took my brother and I to buy a canoe instead of having us go to church with her. Looking back I don't know how he managed that feat but he did and he bought the canoe Easter Sunday from Jersey Paddler, I still have the keychain the store gave us with the purchase. For the last ten years or so the canoe has been chained to a tree at a local lake. One needs to buy a permit to keep the boat there so my dad has decided he no longer wanted to pay the $60 per year for a boat he rarely uses. A few years after he bought the white canoe he bought a kevlar canoe which he still has stored under the deck at home. So it is not as though we are a canoeless family. That would truly be sad.
In the letter my dad is a little concerned the local naturalist he is giving the canoe to doesn't understand the situation that she has to either buy a permit or remove the canoe from the lake where it is kept. I'm pretty sure they will sort things out.
My parents went to the local Chinese restaurant for dinner one night, a place dad really likes. He thinks taking my mom out for dinner eases the fact that she has to do so much around the house. Maybe it does, at least she doesn't have to do dishes that evening. They also went to Panera for lunch, my dad could eat at Panera for lunch every day. There is a natural food store next to Panera where he picks up supplies for making his homemade meusli ceral.
He signs off with a reminder that daylight savings time is approaching and wonders who is the arbiter of DST. It seems too early in the year for it.
Love, Dad
Dad reports that he gave away one of the canoes. I can only imagine how sad this occasion is for him. It means he realizes he can't take the canoe out on his own anymore and doesn't know anyone who will go out with him regularly. I remember when we bought the aforementioned canoe, the white canoe as we called it. We were at my mom's sister's house in New Jersey for Easter, it was Easter Sunday and my mom was furious that my dad took my brother and I to buy a canoe instead of having us go to church with her. Looking back I don't know how he managed that feat but he did and he bought the canoe Easter Sunday from Jersey Paddler, I still have the keychain the store gave us with the purchase. For the last ten years or so the canoe has been chained to a tree at a local lake. One needs to buy a permit to keep the boat there so my dad has decided he no longer wanted to pay the $60 per year for a boat he rarely uses. A few years after he bought the white canoe he bought a kevlar canoe which he still has stored under the deck at home. So it is not as though we are a canoeless family. That would truly be sad.
In the letter my dad is a little concerned the local naturalist he is giving the canoe to doesn't understand the situation that she has to either buy a permit or remove the canoe from the lake where it is kept. I'm pretty sure they will sort things out.
My parents went to the local Chinese restaurant for dinner one night, a place dad really likes. He thinks taking my mom out for dinner eases the fact that she has to do so much around the house. Maybe it does, at least she doesn't have to do dishes that evening. They also went to Panera for lunch, my dad could eat at Panera for lunch every day. There is a natural food store next to Panera where he picks up supplies for making his homemade meusli ceral.
He signs off with a reminder that daylight savings time is approaching and wonders who is the arbiter of DST. It seems too early in the year for it.
Love, Dad
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
March 5
"Ahh spring. There's little sign of it here, only no doubt the days are getting longer." Like I said almost every letter starts with a weather report. My dad writes that there is still snow on the ground and the town has not done a very good job clearing the roads. He really hates the cold of winter. Living in California I have to agree it is a much easier life not having to deal with cold and snow. Dad and my mom went to a local park FDR (Mohansic) to walk on the roads there which are plowed. I did this same thing with my dad when I was home over Christmas, it is a nice walk as the park road winds through the woods and there are few cars. The park was called Mohansic Park when I was little but was changed to FDR Park maybe fifteen years ago. My dad usually refers to it as "FDR park, what they used to call Mohansic" as if maybe I don't know the name had been changed.
Dad goes on to note the sad state of the economy and the unemployment rate of 7.6%. That would actually be low for California which is near 12%. He grew up during the depression so has a deep understanding and fear of just how bad things can get. I think this also causes my dad to have sympathy for me in my unemployed state since his father couldn't get steady work for several years. They are talking of closing the state parks and he notes that one park they are thinking of closing is Wonder Lake and doesn't see how that would save money. My brother, my dad and I were there three years; the park didn't even have a trail then. We bushwacked up a hill looking for the lake and used a GPS and map to finally find it. Completely lost we eventually came upon an abandoned road my dad thought we should try following. My brother argued for continuing on scrambling through the barberry covered woods. Seeing that my dad appeared fatigued I thought the road was a wiser choice and we had a heated argument about it. We did end up following the road out. A month later my dad had congested heart failure. I think we all occasionally wonder what we would have done had his heart given out in those woods.
The news at home is that a large limb fell off a locust tree and blocked part of the street. My mom is getting the gardeners to chop it off. Dad says she "has got a thing on" that the tree will fall and hit her on the head or do a lot of damage to the house. He must mean that she talks about it nonstop which she is known to do. She once had a tree fall on and smash her car, everyone has seemingly irrational fears often rooted in some prior experience.
My dad's last paragraph talks about how he used to visit Oakland in the spring to escape a week of winter. In fact he had a ticket out to California three years ago when the doctor sent him to the hospital and two days later he had heart surgery. Travel since then has been more limited but he would like to renew the habit of a week in Oakland.
Love, Dad.
Dad goes on to note the sad state of the economy and the unemployment rate of 7.6%. That would actually be low for California which is near 12%. He grew up during the depression so has a deep understanding and fear of just how bad things can get. I think this also causes my dad to have sympathy for me in my unemployed state since his father couldn't get steady work for several years. They are talking of closing the state parks and he notes that one park they are thinking of closing is Wonder Lake and doesn't see how that would save money. My brother, my dad and I were there three years; the park didn't even have a trail then. We bushwacked up a hill looking for the lake and used a GPS and map to finally find it. Completely lost we eventually came upon an abandoned road my dad thought we should try following. My brother argued for continuing on scrambling through the barberry covered woods. Seeing that my dad appeared fatigued I thought the road was a wiser choice and we had a heated argument about it. We did end up following the road out. A month later my dad had congested heart failure. I think we all occasionally wonder what we would have done had his heart given out in those woods.
The news at home is that a large limb fell off a locust tree and blocked part of the street. My mom is getting the gardeners to chop it off. Dad says she "has got a thing on" that the tree will fall and hit her on the head or do a lot of damage to the house. He must mean that she talks about it nonstop which she is known to do. She once had a tree fall on and smash her car, everyone has seemingly irrational fears often rooted in some prior experience.
My dad's last paragraph talks about how he used to visit Oakland in the spring to escape a week of winter. In fact he had a ticket out to California three years ago when the doctor sent him to the hospital and two days later he had heart surgery. Travel since then has been more limited but he would like to renew the habit of a week in Oakland.
Love, Dad.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
February 26
"It's still winter, yesterday it snowed for 18 hours" This week's letter from my dad starts out with a weather report as so many of them do. The everchanging weather presents something to talk about each week. This letter goes on to say my mom put both the cars in the garage. An activity which would have been a herculean feat when I was young, but my mom cleaned out the garage a number of years ago and both cars fit now though it's still a tight squeeze. My dad seems very proud of her, though she never admits he says anything nice about her, she doesn't get to read his letters. They still have garage doors that need to be lifted up by hand and they're heavy, my dad can't lift them anymore but my mom still manages. The letter then goes on to explain that when the cars are inside the plow can nicely clear the plaza behind the garage. I've never heard it called a plaza before but there is a large driveway space where we once parked three cars across.
The next paragraph is about a trip to Trader Joe's, which is an event for my parents. They are big fans of Trader Joe's but there isn't one close by so they only get there every few months. My dad gets frozen fruit for his home mixed meusli cereal. They also made a recent trip to fancy the mall in White Plains. My mom took the freeway to get there, which she usually avoids. Dad claims she didn't know where to get off to get to the mall but I think she does know, maybe she asked him for reassurance or because he was making her nervous.
That's usually how these letters go - weather, a walk, a trip to the store or restaurant. This one though continues with a paragraph asking "How are you?" and then goes on to ask if I need any money. I don't think my dad has ever asked me that before and I haven't needed any since grad school. He seems to understand that being unemployed long term takes its toll and I appreciate the fact that he cares.
The letter concludes with my dad mentioning he just sent a note to my cousin who has two young children. My brother and I both being childless my dad occasionally reminisces to his nephews about fun activities we did as a family when we were young. My cousin grew up without a dad so it's a bit more complicated but not something to get into here. The letter ends as it always does "Love, Dad".
The next paragraph is about a trip to Trader Joe's, which is an event for my parents. They are big fans of Trader Joe's but there isn't one close by so they only get there every few months. My dad gets frozen fruit for his home mixed meusli cereal. They also made a recent trip to fancy the mall in White Plains. My mom took the freeway to get there, which she usually avoids. Dad claims she didn't know where to get off to get to the mall but I think she does know, maybe she asked him for reassurance or because he was making her nervous.
That's usually how these letters go - weather, a walk, a trip to the store or restaurant. This one though continues with a paragraph asking "How are you?" and then goes on to ask if I need any money. I don't think my dad has ever asked me that before and I haven't needed any since grad school. He seems to understand that being unemployed long term takes its toll and I appreciate the fact that he cares.
The letter concludes with my dad mentioning he just sent a note to my cousin who has two young children. My brother and I both being childless my dad occasionally reminisces to his nephews about fun activities we did as a family when we were young. My cousin grew up without a dad so it's a bit more complicated but not something to get into here. The letter ends as it always does "Love, Dad".
Monday, March 1, 2010
Letters From Dad
For a while now I've been thinking I would like my blog to have more focus, some sort of recurring theme. In order for that to happen I have to have write regularly about something that interests me but I've been rather uninspired. So I asked myself what is it that people write about and what do I do on a continuing basis which would provide fodder for blog entries? Then I noticed the yellow paper on my desk with my dad's writing on it.
My dad writes me a letter every week, sometimes more than one a week. He doesn't worry about whether or not he has anything interesting to say he just writes every week. I think it's his way of connecting with me. He not only writes to me every week, he also writes to my brother every week and has done so since we each left home for college over twenty years ago. It sounds like such a wonderful thing to do for your child write him or her a personal letter every week, a caring way to share your thoughts. Only the thing is my dad doesn't say anything in his letters. Once when visiting my brother a few years ago I found out he had stopped even opening the letters, though I think he reads them again now. When my brother and I lived together for a year my dad still wrote us each a letter, though they were by and large the same letter.
Still I think there must be something to these letters. They are almost always written on paper from a yellow legal pad in blue ink. I am going to try to blog about these weekly letters, it will cause me to sit down and really read each one I'm not sure what I'll learn from it but having a focus is what I'm really after. Of course it just occurred to me that my dad reads my blog and if I start blogging about what he writes then he will probably change what he is writing which would sort of ruin the whole point of it. So here I am starting a whole new blog just for this project. i didn't expect that to happen.
My dad writes me a letter every week, sometimes more than one a week. He doesn't worry about whether or not he has anything interesting to say he just writes every week. I think it's his way of connecting with me. He not only writes to me every week, he also writes to my brother every week and has done so since we each left home for college over twenty years ago. It sounds like such a wonderful thing to do for your child write him or her a personal letter every week, a caring way to share your thoughts. Only the thing is my dad doesn't say anything in his letters. Once when visiting my brother a few years ago I found out he had stopped even opening the letters, though I think he reads them again now. When my brother and I lived together for a year my dad still wrote us each a letter, though they were by and large the same letter.
Still I think there must be something to these letters. They are almost always written on paper from a yellow legal pad in blue ink. I am going to try to blog about these weekly letters, it will cause me to sit down and really read each one I'm not sure what I'll learn from it but having a focus is what I'm really after. Of course it just occurred to me that my dad reads my blog and if I start blogging about what he writes then he will probably change what he is writing which would sort of ruin the whole point of it. So here I am starting a whole new blog just for this project. i didn't expect that to happen.
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